That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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