he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
