You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
