Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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