ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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