Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
