i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
