I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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