My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
