So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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