Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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