I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
