every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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