Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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