would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
