Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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