dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
