you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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