So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
