im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
