You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
