you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
