the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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