I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
