i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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