We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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