She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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