you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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