if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
