I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
