He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
