paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
