people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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