Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
