I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
did you just send me my own nude
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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