I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
