Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
As shirtless as possible
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
