Got a toothbrush?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
