I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
