well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
