Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
