She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
