Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
