i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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