Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
