i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
