He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're like the curious george of whores
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
