he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
