Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
