Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
