and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
